Average Nix

i was going through my e-mail and found this one from my aunt. she often sends me forwarded mail from her yahoo groups and other groups she's in. most of the stories/articles she sends me are true, some are funny, and some are just fun to read. if u plan to be a frequent visitor to my blog, expect to see more stories or articles. 10 Ways To Marry The Wrong Person by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A. With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights. #1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married... for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now. #2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust". Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four character traits to definitely check for: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her? Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does she treat people she doesn't have to be nice to? Does she do volunteer work? Give charity? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what she says? she's going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does she enjoy life? Is she emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her? #3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen. #4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: 1. chemistry and compatibility 2. share common interests 3. share common life goal Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living for," while you're single -- and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals. #5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main factor. It is not necessary to take a "test drive" in order to find out if a couple is sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce. #6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable?" Do I feel I can rely on him/her? #7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There's a big difference between controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit. #8. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way For you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can't be vulnerable, then you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand. #9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you. #10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that's no basis for a marriage.

i was just in street dance class and for some reason my mind can't process the steps we are being taught of. damn. i know what they are but my body doesn't seem to cooperate. maybe because i just ate an hour and a half ago. hmm.. anyway, mom arrived today. as in so early like usual. and she was pissed coz the house was the same as she left it. as usual lazy me didn't do anything. the vacuum was borrowed and was only returned this morning. it's the only thing i do, vacuum. other than that, i put away my things the day brfore she gets home. if she only knew how the house was before she arrived. Lmao. it's a problem with me, i do things in my own time. i like to do them when i feel like it. but i DO chores. more often than usual i don't feel like it.. :P ok i'll go back on my work out.. hopefully more posts later. there's a lot of things i want to post but don't have the time at the moment.. ciao! :P

DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health. DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it. DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to ur nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first. DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep. DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE /HUSBAND You may never wake up again.

finally! scanned all the photos from Jakarta trip. it's been more than 10 years since my last out-of-country trip so i was really excited for this one. took lots of pics. kinda. i felt so ignorant. ok, so here it is.. (note: time is Philippine based. GMT+8) Philippine Airlines flight PR501 Manila - Singapore - Jakarta Aug. 19, 2005 my baggage.. XD Aug. 20 10:00am - mom woke me up to get ready 12:00pm - we headed for inflight i had to wait for a few minutes before we board their shuttle bus to the airport, so i took pictures! :P

we found out that my mom's colleague has brought his wife and eldest daughter with him. when we arrived at the airport, we didn't have to wait long to get in.. since we were with the crew.. and we had to wait till we were asked to board and till everyone has boarded. why? i can't tell you.. :P i took a picture of a plane, which i tought was the one we were gonna be riding, but turned out that its going to Hong Kong. our plane is in the other side, can't be seen, to the right of that plane.. XD 3:00pm - we boarded the plane. it was so nice to be inside an airplane again. haha! *ignorant* so since we were the last to board, we didn't have to wait long. 3:30pm - the plane started moving towards the runway. 2 planes just took off and there were 4 planes behind us. since cellphones should be turned off, i didn't get any shot! :( 3:39pm - exact time the plane took off. i was holding on to my seat really tight, (im such a scardy cat), but i was looking out the window. it's so beautiful to see the surroundings turn into miniature sizes, looked like lego. i was getting a little dizzy to i looked at something else inside the plane. when we went steady above the clouds, i looked out the window again, so beautiful. the clouds looked like huge cotton candy, yumm! :P Paeng Nepomuceno was in the plane so we asked for some picture taking.. it will take 3 hours to get to Singapore. why Singapore? it's part of the route. then we would get off at the airport and wait a few minutes to board again. From Singapore, it will take and hour or so to get to Jakarta. the featured movie on our way to Singapore was Fever Pitch, starring Drew Barry more and Jimmy Fallon. Synopsis: A contemporary romantic comedy about a high school teacher who meets and falls in love with a successful businesswoman. Although their lives are vastly different, the relationship seems perfect until the baseball season begins and she has to compete with his first true love: the Boston Red Sox. it's a nice movie. quite funny, romantic and dramatic at the same time. 6:30pm - we finally arrive Singapore airport (i forgot the name of the airport). we wer told that we have to get back within an hour to be on our way to Jakarta. mom told me to look around and don't be afraid to explore but be aware of the announcements because i might get caught up and be left there.. eep! i toured the small part of the airport where we were dropped off. i rode 2 walkalators and found free internet that you can use for 15 minutes. i logged in very quick and sent someone an e-mail before heading back to my 'tour'. another 2 walkalators later and i found myself in a garden/pond with beautiful flowers/orchids. i wasn't paying attention at first because i wanted to see everything. i went upstairs and saw.. a nice top view of the garden/pond.. found a gym, a food court, a free cinema, yes that's right, FREE! (no pics) and right outside is a sunflower garden.. after that, i went back downstairs, i remembered i had to listen for the announcement. i was thinking of asking someone to take pictures of me but i was shy, so i took pictures of the flowers instead.. XD the sign indicated that this is Vanda Miss Joaquim, pretty ain't it? this looks like an ordinary orchid, but the sign said "Phalaenopsis" maybe it's a scientific name? and this is Mokara BIG FISHES! when i showed this pic on my phone to my mom she said it looked like airplanes.. >_> so i walked around the garden/pond and saw a janitress. i was thinking of asking her to take my picture when i heard the announcement that we were boarding, so i hurried back to our gate. MORE PICTURES! XD there was this plant on the outer side of the walkalator and it was pretty and i wanted to take a picture of it, i got it alright, but it was blurred. :D 7:30pm - we boarded for Jakarta 8:25pm - exact time the plane took off for Jakarta 9:15 - 9:25pm - we have arrived! yay! Jakarta! i wasn't sure what was the exact time.. lol 11:00pm - we are staying at the Shangri La hotel and it's sooo cool.. the exchange rate at the hotel when we got there was 9,755rp = $1. so it's like 10,000rp = P58. i got to hold 3,000,000!!!! ..... rupiah... HAHAHAHAHA!! Aug. 21 from this day, i was not able to take track of time.. hahaha! i took a picture of the view.. and i guess so did mom.. from my phone from mom's camera what i looked like that morning teh bathroom (i have a thing for nice bathrooms) i forgot to take pics of our buffet breakfast. mom said they changed menu each day so i had to have a taste of those i wanted to eat. YUM!! so technically, i ignored diet during my stay there. since it's like a once in a lifetime opportunity, i ate alot! Bwahahaha! BILL!!! you don't often get charged 48k for breakfast.. lmao.. /gg after breakfast, we went to Manga Dua, it's like Divisoria. no pictures sorry. on our way there, we came across some fountains.. i got a pic of 2 of them, there was another after the 2nd one but i didn't get it.. it was Sunday so no banks or money exchange, in short, we were not able to get our money changed to do some shopping. we only had enough for the parlor. so mom and i got creambath and refeksi. (creambath = they put something in your hair and massage your head down to shoulders and kinda at the back, refleksi = foot massage). then i got a haircut! which they call 'gunting'. we wer able to but some shirts though. mom has this 'suki', a sports apparel shop. he accepted our dollar and gave us rupiah for change, that's why we had enough money for parlor. when we got back to the hotel, i took a nice bubble bath.. bwahaha! hooray for bath tub.. i want one, one day.. /gg i got ready for bed, but was not sleepy. so i read the funnies in the newspapers and watched tv.. mom is always tuned in to CNN so that time we were watching Comedy Central.. i love comedy.. laughter, a way of life, and i love it! hehe.. watched a few more shows before we went to sleep.. span style="color: rgb(150, 200, 255);">Aug. 22 this was our last day in Jakarta, and we haven't even reached 1/4 of our shopping list! so we were kind of in a hurry that day.. after breakfast, we did a quick picture taking.. afterwards, we went back to Manga Dua to do more shopping.. at the end of the day, i had new rubber shoes, 2 bags, sandals, 2 wallets, 4 jogging pants, and 47 DVDs. we probably could have gotten more but the stall where we got the DVDs was closed. apparently he got a tip that there was going to be a raid so he wasn't open. but in the end, he was able to sell us some DVDs. mom went back to the parlor to get a haircut. before we went back to the hotel, we went to McDonald's because i was hungry. i had double cheeseburger meal, large fries, and iced tea for drinks, and 2 chocolate sundae. the bill? 33,300rp.. Lmao.. i felt rich spending thousands of money.. bwahahaha!!! XD that night was my last night to have a bubble bath.. it was perfect, the water was right, there were alot of bubbles, and i had mom take a picture! *censored* mom said i look like im being burried so she told me to pull up a little.. she calls this one 'most daring pic ever' hahaha.. we were laughing because the bubbles were going down i was telling her the nipples might come out.. Aug. 23 aaww.. we're going home na.. =as in, so early! like 4am i think.. so yah, making story short.. Jakarta airport Philippine Airlines flight PR502 Jakarta - Singapore - Manila on the plane, all i did was sleep.. Lmao.. back in Singapore airport, i got pictures!! weee!! back on the plane, i fell asleep again.. then mom woke me up to get some pictures with the pilots in the cockpit.. i was blinded by the light! last pic.. Susan and Gela.. ^^ wonder where my next trip would be?